On fatherhood

The other day, I heard a conversation of two little kids talking about their fathers. One boy said to the other, “My daddy will go to Jaipur and brings lots of toys for me.” The other kid wanted to tell his friend that his dad was the best, he went on saying, “My dad will give me an ice-cream treat tonight, and he gives me a scooter ride every evening when he returns from work.” I couldn’t stop but smile, giving all my ears to their innocent and lively conversation. 

They made me question the stereotypes that prevail in society regarding fathers. It’s often said, that fathers don’t go to the school on Parent Teacher Meetings and that a mother always picks the kids from the school after it gets over. Father is depicted as a carefree individual, who gives all these important tasks to his wife. Be it, the household chores or taking care of the kids, from their education to their health. Now, the question is what is the role of a father in the family? And does it end only with earning money?

In my view, I think- these stereotypes don’t have justification in today’s times. A father understands his responsibility equally with his wife. A family runs with cooperation of all family members. In this new age, a father stands at par with mother and the notion of patriarchy that exists in Indian homes is nearing its end with the present generation. Father and mother should divide responsibilities and not fear from what the world says about them. These gaps should be diminished, and men should also take up the roles that women had been following in the traditional Indian sense, like cooking and managing the home. 

Father’s have started working in the kitchens, sometimes preparing breakfast for the kids. To making vegetables and clearing the leftover dishes after dinner. This change is coming in India, although slowly but it would eventually be practiced in majority of Indian homes in the times to come. 

If mothers in most Indian homes take care of household chores, then father’s work to earn livelihood for the family. Their togetherness and presence is very important for the harmony of the family. Just like our mom makes food for us in the morning, our dad drops us to the school. Our dad goes for work and mom picks us from the school. 

There are many difficulties they face together, to see smiles on the faces of their children. A recent example of a visually impaired man who gives head massage to passengers at the Valsad Railway Station, Gujrat is really inspiring. After being blind, he wasn’t giving a blind’s eye to the needs of his family. He worked to earn the bread and butter for his family. This story of a father is really inspiring.

Every time, when you go out with friends, or get late returning home, then it is your father who calls you to know about your whereabouts. Father’s are said to be strict or serious, but look within your father’s heart. He wants to be your friend, because he loves you so much. He has been with you, when you were a little kid; he knew what you liked the most, when you would sleep on his arm. When, you had wanted to go on a picnic, dad would take you wherever you demanded. He gifted you soft-toys, went for movies with you. All this happened, before you grew up, to have your own set of friends, and best-friends. Did you forget those times, when to your dad, clicking photographs meant clicking all those beautiful moments with you. If photography was a passion for your dad, it was because you loved getting pictures clicked.  

So today, on father’s day tell your father, that he is your hero! Tell him, what he means to you. He will love it. Happy Father’s Day!

Gagandeep Singh Vaid