A talk in the train! Meet-up 3(i) !

I

Yes, he dreamt like a bird. Yes, he dreamt like someone; who had been in love.
Love, that was beautiful in every countless hue. Love, that had its own touch, unmatched by any other feeling in the world.
He had his own story to tell, not sadness in his story but happiness all the way. Yes, he had been in love; it had felt great, yes, he thought it again and again. He had been in love.

Those had been his school days, when he had liked a girl. At that time, in fifth grade; he had felt what love was, the most auspicious feeling. When, this dreamer in Raghubir would keep on thinking about her, about how her hair was done, how she matched his eyes and how his heart smiled. Just one eye contact, gave him enough reasons to cherish his day. To call his day, the best day that he had ever lived.
 

Those were the days, of sports meet in the school. He hadn’t had enough audacity to go and talk to her before that. Well, that day had not been an exception either. He didn’t go to her. What happened was that, school bus came to the stop in the morning that was a Sunday morning. It was a yellow bus, that means a school bus; unlike the transport bus that he took daily. When he entered the coach, he saw her in the bus and that journey by bus to the school was the most beautiful one. All throughout, he thought of looking at her; but he couldn’t do so much. Because, Raghubir had been the shy guy all the way.

After the sports meet, he talked to her for the very first time. Although, fumbling on every word; he couldn’t quite make her understand what he had wanted to convey. But, he did make an impression on her. He tried to ask for the helmet that she wore, so that he could collect all the helmets from his classmates after the drill was done and complete the duty assigned to him. He felt nice, that she heard him, his voice. In joy, he ran the whole corridor, once she had left the class; only to spot her yet again, from the stairs. When, she matched her eyes yet again with him. It was the moment of his life, that couldn’t ever break the beauty of its symphony. That solace, the happiness to dream; yes, the sports day had turned out to be a triumph for this lover boy.

The next days, he expressed to her; how much he liked her, obviously after it was clear through his eyes. He had felt if she felt the same for him, but then; came a day. He didn't propose her, how could he?

The teacher was calling out the names of all students in the class and a specific boy was to sit with a specific girl for a month.  The seat fixing was in process when, coincidentally; the teacher called out the names, and it was Raghubir and Archana. After announcing this pair, the teacher went on. Raghubir knew, he had won a chance to talk to her yet again. He knew how wonderful a feeling it was, yes; he knew it well after the sports meet drill. As he was in his dream world at that instant, Raghubir’s old partner Aditya, went to Archana’s desk and told her that the teacher wanted them to sit together.

Raghubir felt betrayed and asked Archana, for why she allowed Aditya to sit next to her whereas it was he, Raghubir whose name the teacher had called out and not Aditya. Raghubir asked the teacher again but this time, she scolded him instead. “Let them sit now”, came the reply from the teacher. It was as if, someone had fired a bullet and that someone was the best shooter, that it had to hit him and leave him unconscious. Anyways, he took the other seat with his other classmate and he felt that anger plunge in his heart for his friend, but he couldn’t speak a word more like he never could. That was the worst part of all, ‘To have a voice’, but what if it didn't come out when needed. He cried in his heart, but the chance to talk to her was gone. Even when he asked Archana to tell Aditya to move; she gave the same reply, that was ‘confused’. Raghubir kept on looking at the walls and the floor, all alone in the class in the break time. He had no companion, he thought.  That thought, that was true in every respect of the words.

Whom would he express his feelings, when he was hurt, when he too wanted to play like his other classmates, laugh at jokes and not be a joke himself always. It hurt his heart out, it felt so lonely to be in that class. Now, that he got to know that Archana didn’t care for him. If she did, she could have easily asked Aditya to get lost, he thought. His anger couldn’t reach Aditya, he had known how to eat it up; but he was afraid thinking that, what would happen when all the accumulated anger would come out all together one fine day?

Yes, he was in love; he knew. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be too hurt. Also, that was the first time, he had felt such feeling for any girl. He still said to himself, “She’s lucky to have me as her lover, I am lucky to have her as her lover. Umm… how would we look in old age? Yes, I will have a stick in my hand; she will hold my arm.. but no, we will be fit people then.. no need for the stick.. we will jog together………………” His dreams never had an end. Like a spontaneous stream in the sea, meeting the ocean of fantasy, his dreams that came and so passed the lore, of both happiness and dismay side-along,

 II

Few days passed by, the same schedule followed. Classes happened, teacher’s asked for the home-work, Raghubir was scolded with other boys and girls for not submitting it on time. Day by day, there was more fun, with swimming lessons; there were Yoga sessions held every morning. The chilly mornings when students were asked to sit in the corridors, on the mats that they had brought from their homes. From Asanas, to Yoga postures; there were sessions when teacher’s joined in too.

Raghubir had felt as if, he was not likable in his class, more so over because Archana ignored his eyes, she didn’t talk to him. Even Aditya, who talked to Raghubir earlier had become an unknown in a passage of few days. Raghubir thought, if Aditya liked her and she liked him back.

In the recess time, when everyone was out of the class; this young boy was sitting on his desk, looking yet again at the walls, the blackboard; and trying to draw something with a chalk that he had kept in his pencil box. He found the boys and girls playing in the field outside from the window and he kept his constant gaze at them. Many groups, few were playing with the ball, few were eating hamburgers. What was the most beautiful part of it, was the fact that Raghubir enjoyed being alone. Earlier, he was sad about the fact that he didn’t have good friends; but now he had got used to his own company. He saw things, as he understood them; when he heard people talking, he thought if it was right or wrong. Just one thing this time what was missing in Raghubir was a smile and laughter. Laughter that would tell how happy he was, but he didn’t know how it came about.

Yes, there were times when he couldn’t stop giggling, but that happened once in a long time. When others found no reason to laugh, he laughed then. He was a person, whom no one could understand. Just because he had never got a chance to express himself, and now that he didn’t want to express himself. As if, he didn’t know, how to go about doing that.

That day, when he turned back from the blackboard, he found himself standing next Archana’s desk. Her notebook was lying on the table. Having enough courage, he picked her notebook to start reading it. She wrote in big fonts, a straight handwriting with one line space between every word. Raghubir’s handwriting was cursive, although not very good; but not bad either. Anyway, this girls writing looked more presentable to him at that moment. Even after, all the judgments made by him, the only thing Raghubir had good was his handwriting. Few days back only, he had got a chance to enter a handwriting competition although he didn’t get a golden star in it but a silver star. The boy, kept on moving the pages, one by one. He feared something, the fear that moved constantly in his head; or to which he had given birth and space all the way more. The fear was if someone found him reading her notebook.

Then entered Rishi with his team; Aman, Uday, Ritvik and Vikas. Aditya followed them and these five boys went straight to Raghubir. Uday took hold of his collar and pushed him to the desk further more. Raghubir lost his control and having grabbed Archana’s notebook in his hand; he just fell on the floor, that is between the seat and the table, what can be called the leg space. He was hurt on his back with the notebook in his arms, Raghubir fell on the floor with his head touching it first. There was a cut on his upper lip, as he was such a delicate boy. Blood was in no time, covering his mouth.

Unable to fight back, difficult further more because it pained; Raghubir did nothing but took the same seat and started crying, yet no one came to hold him up while he sobbed. The boys had left, the boys who were his classmates. It was bad. The reason behind it remained unknown, as of why they had hit him like that. He had done no wrong, but yes; he had feared them and that fear only hurt him even more.

Controlling his tears, with a handkerchief  on his lips, he reached the medical room all alone. Boys and girls gazed at him, his eyes filled with tears, in pain. That moment, Raghubir had wanted to run away from school for his home. Even afraid of the medical room, this boy paced against his yet another fear. The teacher in-charge provided Raghubir with the first aid, and sent him to the doctor near the school. Raghubir had got four stitches on his lip.

On his return to class the next day, Raghubir kept silent. Not taking any boy’s name still, he could see their eyes apologetic. He didn’t want them to be in any trouble but he wanted an answer as of why did they do that to him. When he had entered the class, no one came to him; to ask for what had happened to him. No one really cared, he thought. After the first class, when boys found him numb regarding the incident to the class teacher; they came to him. They apologized and thanked him for saving them, they knew what they did was not less than a sin. To cause physical harm to a fellow classmate.

Expecting Archana to come and talk to him, he was wrong; she didn't come to him, even after looking at his face, swollen lips; moreover could be the butt of jokes around than the thoughtful sympathy from his class. The day ended, and so he knew had his belief in his love, his dreams. He came back running home from the bus stop, when his eyes had the spark to see his mother and hug her to never leave her. He knew, she was there for him; loving him, no matter what the world thought of him.

Gagandeep Singh Vaid